## The acorn

Q. What did the mathematical acorn say when it grew up?
A. Gee I'm a tree (Geometry).

## Halloween

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi

## Mathematicians at the beach

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun

## Zero said to eight

Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt!

## Terrorist

New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.
According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of Maths instruction

## Mermaid

Q: What does the little mermaid wear?
A: An algae-bra.

## Fear

Q. Why is the number six scared of seven?
A. Because seven eight nine (7 ate 9)!

## Crushed Angle

Q. What do you call a crushed angle?

A. A rectangle!

## No homework

Pupil: Would you punish me for something I haven't done? Teacher: Of course not. Pupil: That's good because I haven't done my homework!

## Dog with a bad foot

Q. Why is a dog with a bad foot like adding 6 and 7? A. Because he puts down three and carries the one.

## Misers

Q. Why are misers good Maths Teachers? A. Because they know how to make every penny count!.

## Powers

Q. Why are powers like fish? A. Because they're all indices (in the seas!)

## How many times?

Q: how many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards?
A: I can subtract it as many times as I want, and it leaves 76 every time.

Q. Why did the Maths textbook look so sad? A. Because it had so many problems and the chemistry book had all the solutions.

## Three types of people

There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and those who can't.

## Hot corner

If it is cold, go and stand in the corner, because it is 90 degrees there.

## Binary

There are 10 kinds of people in this world; those who understand binary and those who don't.

## Calculus

Try to avoid doing calculus when you are thirsty. You have heard the warning, don't drink and derive!

## Sun Circle

Q. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?
A. Pi in the sky.

## Sailors

3.14% of Sailors are PI rates!

## High Cooking

Q. What do you call a saucepan of simmering soup on top of a mountain?
A. A high-pot-in-use!

## Algebra

Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back. We don't know Y either.

## Timber

Q. Why did the (x2+1) tree fall over?
A. Because it had no real roots!

## Topics

I will do algebra, I'll do trigonometry and I'll even do statistics but geometry and graphing is where I draw the line!

## Calendars

Calendars, their days are numbered.

## Delicious

The following sign appeared on an episode of the Simpsons.

## No Comprende

I don't understand how to double 2n. It sounds 4n to me.

## Big Dinner

What did the Mathematician say after eating a very large dinner?

## Glasses improve vision

Always wear glasses to Maths lessons. They help with division!

## Graph paper

I see you have graph paper. You must be plotting something!

## Angle talk

Q. What did the complementary angle say to the acute angle?
A. You are looking nice today.

## Number Bases

Why did the mathematician think that Halloween was the same as Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

## Two hundred and eighty eight

I could tell you a joke about 288… But I won’t as it’s two gross!

## Round Table

Q. Which one of King Arthur's knights built the round table?
A. Sir Cumference.

## Negatives

I am terrified of negative numbers. I will stop at nothing to avoid them!

## Can't Keep Still

What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A: A roamin’ numeral.

## I Love Maths

I love Maths but what seems odd to me are integers not divisible by two.