Maths Jokes

The acorn

Q. What did the mathematical acorn say when it grew up?
A. Gee I'm a tree (Geometry).


Halloween

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi


Mathematicians at the beach

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun


Zero said to eight

Q: What did the zero say to the eight?
A: Nice belt!


Terrorist

New York (CNN). At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.
According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network. He will be charged with carrying weapons of Maths instruction


Mermaid

Q: What does the little mermaid wear?
A: An algae-bra.


Fear

Q. Why is the number six scared of seven?
A. Because seven eight nine (7 ate 9)!


Crushed Angle

Q. What do you call a crushed angle?

A. A rectangle!


No homework

Pupil: Would you punish me for something I haven't done? Teacher: Of course not. Pupil: That's good because I haven't done my homework!


Dog with a bad foot

Q. Why is a dog with a bad foot like adding 6 and 7? A. Because he puts down three and carries the one.


Misers

Q. Why are misers good Maths Teachers? A. Because they know how to make every penny count!.


Powers

Q. Why are powers like fish? A. Because they're all indices (in the seas!)


How many times?

Q: how many times can you subtract 7 from 83, and what is left afterwards?
A: I can subtract it as many times as I want, and it leaves 76 every time.


Sad Textbook

Q. Why did the Maths textbook look so sad? A. Because it had so many problems and the chemistry book had all the solutions.


Three types of people

There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and those who can't.


Hot corner

If it is cold, go and stand in the corner, because it is 90 degrees there.


Binary

There are 10 kinds of people in this world; those who understand binary and those who don't.


Calculus

Try to avoid doing calculus when you are thirsty. You have heard the warning, don't drink and derive!


Sun Circle

Q. What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?
A. Pi in the sky.


Sailors

3.14% of Sailors are PI rates!


High Cooking

Q. What do you call a saucepan of simmering soup on top of a mountain?
A. A high-pot-in-use!


Algebra

Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back. We don't know Y either.


Timber

Q. Why did the (x2+1) tree fall over?
A. Because it had no real roots!


Topics

I will do algebra, I'll do trigonometry and I'll even do statistics but geometry and graphing is where I draw the line!


Calendars

Calendars, their days are numbered.


Delicious

The following sign appeared on an episode of the Simpsons. Delicious Joke


No Comprende

I don't understand how to double 2n. It sounds 4n to me.


Big Dinner

What did the Mathematician say after eating a very large dinner? Over 8 Joke


Glasses improve vision

Always wear glasses to Maths lessons. They help with division!


Graph paper

I see you have graph paper. You must be plotting something!


Angle talk

Q. What did the complementary angle say to the acute angle?
A. You are looking nice today.


Number Bases

Why did the mathematician think that Halloween was the same as Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.


Two hundred and eighty eight

I could tell you a joke about 288… But I won’t as it’s two gross!


Round Table

Q. Which one of King Arthur's knights built the round table?
A. Sir Cumference.


Negatives

I am terrified of negative numbers. I will stop at nothing to avoid them!


Can't Keep Still

What do you call a number that can’t keep still? A: A roamin’ numeral.


I Love Maths

I love Maths but what seems odd to me are integers not divisible by two.


Joke Parallel Lines Joke
Pyramid Pie Chart
Paranormal Distribution

Maths Riddles

Maths Riddles

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